Today, we’ll be talking about the 1980 film The Blue Lagoon, which tells the story of children Emmeline and Richard who get shipwrecked on a desert island with an alcoholic yet incredibly handy cook named Paddy. Spoiler alert: Paddy dies after drinking an entire barrel full of rum, leaving these two completely clueless children alone, with nobody to tell them that getting it on with your first cousin is kinda gross. But that didn’t stop this film from TOTALLY going there. As the kids grow up, they figure out things about their bodies and learn the hard way (pun intended) how babies are made. All of this happens while they spill out some of the most frustratingly dumb dialogue of any movie I’ve seen.

The film stars Brooke Shields, Christopher Atkins, and Leo McKern as Paddy, and has a runtime of 1 hour and 44 minutes.

Film Sins: Child exploitation, sexualization, and god awful dialogue

CREDITS

Hosted by: Kristina “Krissie” Rettig & Erin Maxwell

Edited by: Russ Lichter

Theme song by: Spooky Dan